A new crew for Shalimar

Stella Louise was born on March 19 at 12:01am to start the day. A petite little girl at 5 pounds 11 ounces and 18.5 inches she is the most beautiful child that we have ever seen(don't all parents say that :). A new adventure begins for us and we feel very happy to have all three of us back on Shalimar.

Here is the story:

Finally! After a week's delay from her scheduled date in NZ, our little mermaid has arrived. Difficult to describe my state of impatience, but I can tell you that to help move things along once the due date passed, I was at the gym working out, walked to the market every day, hiked up the local mountain, rented a hotel room just to take a hot bath(twice) and finally visited an osteoarthritis to help move things along.

During this pre-work, there have been false leads. It was believed for a moment that my water broke. My mother tried to entice her granddaughter out by sending a new package of clothes, but Mademoiselle turned a deaf ear. There have been disappointments, I had pre-labour for more than a day and a half (it began on March 17 in the afternoon) and was unable to sleep the second part of the night and a full day of contractions stronger and weaker every 6 to 12 minutes without any real progress. There was a lot of discouragement the second evening when Raewyn our midwife told us to take a hotel room with a bath to help me relax and dilate, but not to expect anything would happen that day. I was already exhausted from lack of sleep and the contractions. We were on the evening of March 18.

Stella a few hours old

But there have also been little pleasures. I chatted with my mother and sister in the early morning of the 18th, they monitored the frequency of contractions, we talked about everything and nothing, all three cheered for the big event to come despite the distance. There was compassion, Raewyn called me a few  minutes after we have decided that nothing would happen the night of the18th to give us an appointment at the hospital for 7:30 that night to check that all was well. I burst into tears and handed Ryan the phone, he proceed to hang up on Raewyn because he thought the conversation was over, but called back shortly and confirmed. There was the love. Ryan was there every minute, at every step, with reassuring words and eyes full of love. Giving me a Cocobat (licorice candy from France) after each contraction (Thanks Mom for the care package and thank you Ryan for this great idea). There was some hope because even if the contractions were not close enough, the big moment was approaching.

Ryan dressing Stella for the first time.

Around 6:00pm on March 18, Ryan went to book a room at the hotel just in front of the marina and I jumped in the bath, it relaxed me a bit and helped me to manage the pain a little better. We had an appointment at the hospital in a hour and a half. We left for the hospital with out bags with all hope not to have to return that night. At 7:30pm Raewyn began to monitored the intensity and frequency of my contractions. They last long enough, but were still too far aparth, she told us that it might not be happening that night, but checked to see how dialated I was. She examined me and told us with a big smile that I was dilated 5 to 6 cm, concluding: "tonight we're going to Have a Baby" . I welcomed the news with relief, but knew we still had work to do!

8:00pm - Raewyn setup the bath in the water birth room and I'm sitting in it a few minutes later. Raewyn came and went, taking notes on the progress of work, gave me advice ... Ryan and I were in a small cocoon by ourselves most of the time. I had finally prepared a playlist of music that played from the iPad. Songs that had accompanied me in recent years, some before I met Ryan, some we had played on our wedding day, recordings of his grandfather ... I recommend it to everyone, it helped me to feel at "home" in this scene at the hospital. I was not always able to hear the music (not because I was screaming but because of the concentration it took, I would hear nothing except perhaps the voice of the midwife). Ryan feed me cookies between contractions, I ate to gain strength in the beginning. I tried the gas when the contractions started to get really strong, but apart from a throat that became bone dry I did not notice a difference, so after 2 attempts I stopped that. My water broke at some point, and I tried to push but I could not find a satisfactory position, so I came out of the water to give birth to our little fish on land.

10:30pm -  I was now in the delivery room on the bed. I tried to find a more satisfactory position, women who have given birth smile at these words because there really is no "good position" for the hard work! I was almost fully dilated, so there was no longer any possibility for an epidural, but I knew I had made the choice of bath knowingly it would facilitate the expansion naturally. Raewyn guiding me, telling me when to push, when to change position, I followed the directions, even if every change I felt closer and closer to say "no I do not want to", because I had even less desire to see things last forever and because she estimates she has personally deliver about 1,000 babies, which is at least 1,000 more than me. You have to be humble occasionally :)

Stella and Ryan on her first day, one of my favorite pictures.

I found it difficult to understand how to push effectively or successfully reproduce a good push. Raewyn said she could see a full head of dark hair. Ryan said he could see it too, so I asked to see in a mirror, it was interesting but also very impressive. I could feel the head coming out but also slip back after the contraction. I said: "But what happens if it gets stuck?". Ryan was always there he never turned away. He continued to apply cold compresses on my forehead (like a little paradise in the middle of the furnace my body was generating) and to let me "gently" crush his hand during contractions (including a few times the finger with the triple fracture from Tonga that does not normally bend like that), though he didn't mention that until later.

Finally the head started coming out, I felt a great burning while my body opened more. I pushed up to 4 times per contraction, trying to follow Raewyn when she told me to stop and then push again. Other moms during my parenting classes that had their babies first told me to listen to my midwife to not have tearing. During the last flare, I felt my legs tremble as if they were giving way under me. And the head is finally out, after that everything went very quickly. Raewyn had Ryan help pull our baby out. I could not see her well because I was on my knees facing away and the cord was too short. I heard gurgling. After a few moments, Ryan cut the cord. Finally I could sit down and hold our little girl to my chest. Ryan and I held her as Raewyn covered us with warm towels and put a wool cap on her little head. I finally got to see her.

I wish I could say that at that moment I had the highest thoughts and wisdom that came down on me, but all that came to mind is a terrible banality: "She is the most beautiful thing I've laid eyes on". I've heard it so many times before, but this time it was me saying it, and it was how I really felt. Ryan and I look on starry eyed at the appearance of our little gem. Raewyn helped me get her latched on and feeding but reviewing the video that Ryan made, I see that I knew absolutely nothing then. I stare at her, I caress her, nothing else exists. And I hate the word, but I told Ryan she was perfect. When we talked about it later, Ryan told me that once placed on my chest, a torrent of French words came out of my mouth. Curious to see how our nature and origins resume their hold in intense moments. At this moment we did not count her fingers or toes probably because it did not come to our mind, but also because it did not matter. It is probably because she had her small eyes wide open and alert looking at us, and her breath, I felt her warm little body against mine. Then I looked at Ryan and saw a new look because he has become a parent all of a sudden and our happiness was written all over our faces.

First photo of the family

Finally home

PS: I'm really sorry for the time it took me to put this article online. "We do not feel overwhelmed or even busy, we just realize at the end of each day that nothing else got done"- Ryan. A quote that I found so fitting. :)